Remember when...

Remember when I use to blog... Well it's NOT all my fault. Wain finally got our desk top set up (only took him 4 months) But I'm here and I'm ready (I think) to start blogging again. This is my journal, I don't really care if anybody reads it, for me its away to put my feelings out there and to help me remember all the things we have done and accomplished. 

 Where to even begin, I know I can't go back and remember everything so I will just update some of the fun things and NOT so fun things that have been going on in our lives. 

      We've been able to travel, that is one of the great things about Wain's job is that it allows us to travel. His job doesn't pay that great but the FREE flights make up for it. Because without his job we would not be able to see family. I've flown to Salt Lake so many times I can't even count. My brother (Thomas) lives right by the airport so it's super easy to fly to see him and his family. I was just there last weekend. His wife (Britney) and I went and saw the New Hunger games and it was AMAZING. I've never read the books but after watching the second movie it motivates me to want to read the books. I saw the first movie and didn't really get into it. Loved the second one.. It's a must see..
      .I've also been able to travel to Oregon/Washington to visit my old roommate (from snow college days) Eben and her adorable family. It was just a weekend trip but It was much needed and I had a great time.
      We went to Kanab a few weeks ago to what was suppose to be a surprise party for my parents "40th" wedding anniversary. It didn't end up being a surprise. I let my dad know that Wain and I would be coming but didn't tell him that all of his 6 kids were going to be there. The night before we were to come my mom was not feeling well and he ended up telling her because he didn't want us to come if she was sick. I guess that worked cause she was feeling much better. She even called me crying because she couldn't believe we would planned to surprise them. It ended up being a GREAT weekend. We were all there except my brothers Andrew's kids (they live in Texas) I love my parents am so GRATEFUL for all they do for us. My parents are AMAZING and I LOVE them so much. (They are on their way to TX right know and I wish I was going)
        I know we have traveled more than this but I can't think of any other places at the moment. We have tons of plans for next year and I'm so looking forward to traveling more with Wain.

   We also bought another car, it was a MUST, NEED. Driving in Phoenix is CRAZY and driving over a hundred miles a day was just getting really old and lots of $$$. Wain's cousin Andrew works for a car dealership and got us a really good deal on a 2011 nesson rogue. Wain loves it, I've only driven it a few times and I love it, and I love that we don't spend all day in the car :)

 
   To the NOT soo good news, after I had surgery I went back to my fertility doctor and he wanted to check me for diabetes before we start the next step in our infertility journey. I was REALLY nervous about being checked, and I had every right to be. I know I am NOT the healthiest person and I had prepared for the worst news. Two days later, the results came back that I have stage 2 diabetes it's NOT something I am proud of, but I know It's something I control. A week or so later I went to an endocrinologist to have more tests done and to get my health and diabetes under control. I was put on a shot that is to help with weight loss and also metformin (which I've been on before to help with my PCOS) I started eating SUPPER healthy. I have been doing the PALEO diet (google it if you don't know what it is) and exercising. It's been over 2 months and I am done 20 lbs. I  have a lot more to go but I am on the right track. (if only the holiday's was not a time for yummy sweets) I have gone back to the endocrinologist and I have been given the OK to start my infertility treatments again. It takes MONTHS to get into the doctor. Plus I have to be on my period to be able to even go. Which I have to take medicine to even have a period (TMI)  So we are just waiting around and wondering if we are doing the right thing or if we should start looking into other options of having children. I don't want to lose hope that my body will be able to carry a child/children. But there are times that go by that I just want to give up and do what the world would want us to do. Get a dog, travel, not have children at all, and just totally give up on the idea. I'm NOT a person to give up. But my heart, my soul, my drive, my will power, etc is wanting to give up because every MONTH it hurts knowing that we are NOT pregnant again. My entire life I have DREAMED of being a mother, I long for it. I know Wain wants to be a DAD so bad and it huts me to see him hurt.... I hear all the time IT Will happen and to be HONEST I'm tired of hearing that. Because WHAT IF it doesn't???  Anyway I can go on and on how my hurtful comments I get and sometimes the person that is saying the hurtful comments doesn't even know it. Dealing with infertility is painful and again and I BE CAREFUL of the things you say to people dealing with infertility.



Tomorrow being thanksgiving I have so much to GRATEFUL for.. Sometimes I don't realize all that I have but I do have A LOT to be GRATEFUL for.. To name a few things

-My wonderful, caring, loving, funny, sexy, handsome husband
-The gospel
-The Savior
-Our home
-Family
-Temples
-Cars
-Jobs
-Technology
-Freedom
-Health insurance
-Modern Medicine
-Friends
-The beauty of the earth
-Airplanes :)
-Agency
-Food
-Doctors
and the list could go on and ON...

HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO THOSE THAT ACTUALLY READ THIS