Surgery

I have been debating on whether I want to blog about our steps towards having children. We don't want to get our hopes up. But I'm not sure if anybody really reads this so for me it is our journal, if someone does read it I hope that it can help them or somebody they know. 

As most of you know we have struggled with infertility sense the day we got married. I knew when I was about 16 that it would not be easy for me to get pregnant naturally. We have been trying for almost 4 years to do it the natural way, NO LUCK.  We went to an infertility doctor in Utah but we didn't have insurance and it is VERY expensive so we had to stop going. Finally when we moved to Arizona I got a really good job and the insurance covers 85% of our infertility visits. It truly has been a blessing and one I do not take for granted. So this year we finally felt like it was the right time to start the journey once again. I have had so many tests done that I have lost count. One of the tests detected that I had a mass/growth  in my ovaries. My Dr, Dr Larsen (whom is awesome and amazing and what he does) said that It would be the best thing for me to get it removed because it is blocking anything from going into/out of my ovaries and if we wanted to do any infertility treatments it would stop those treatments from working. So Friday (08/02/13) I had it removed. Wain was not able to be there with me. So his Aunt Julie was in town from North Carolina so she volunteered to take me. I thought I would be ok going in by myself but at the last minute I asked if she would stay with me and thank goodness she did. Nurse Holly tried to get an IV in and I passed out. I remember telling them I was going to do but when I came too I had NO idea where I was and I peed my pants YES, I had no control of what is going on. She tried my other hand but she just couldn't get in. So another nurse (can't remember her name) had to be called in. She found a good vain and put it in right away I didn't even feel it. The surgery was really quick and I was home by 1pm. I am super soar, and tired but other than that I am doing well. 

I know that this is the first step to our long journey to parenthood. Whatever the out come may be. I know that the Lord is in control whatever may happen. I am ready to be a mom, I am ready for Wain to be a dad. This has been the hardest thing we have EVER had to go through. I have said it once and I will say it again. I do NOT wish this trail on my worst nightmare, nobody deserves to go through this. I don't know why we have to but I hope I can learn to why I was meant to go through this. I know that I am not alone, there are many women and men going through it. But it doesn't make it any easier. I wish for those of you that can have children easily be careful of the things you say, be mindful of things you put on facebook about being a mother or father. I wish more than anything to be up all night with a crying child, or changing diapers, a stay at home mom, etc. I know my dreams of being a mother will come true, no matter the way our children come we will truly be grateful for the precious gifts that Heavenly Father has given to us.

I plan on updating as our journey continues..... so stay tuned.