PCOS

PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) you are pain. Why do you have to be so mean to me? Why do you have to be a part of my life? Why are you a reminder that I can't get pregnant? Why do you exist? Why are you even in my life? WHY, WHY? I keep asking myself this a lot lately. Wondering what I am suppose to learn from having this. As you can tell I am having one of my downer days. Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day, and I can start over. I am TRYING so hard to be strong, I am trying to take up my time with work, crafts, being with my husband, exercise, being with family and friends. Over the weekend I went and saw one of my old roommates who had triplets a year ago. Her and her husband were married for 2 years before they had their first child. Then after trying again she just couldn't get pregnant. So there doctor put her on clomid, she was on it for one cycle and she got pregnant with triplets. Can you imagine. Its always so nice to talk to someone that knows exactly what you are going through. We talked about how rude and shallow people can be, for example I get this a lot. You've been married almost two years why don't you have kids? What's wrong with you? or people/friends that get pregnant, and don't tell me and I have to find out through someone else or on facebook/blog. Then they go and ask other people if I'm ok. People/friends don't be afraid to tell me. It hurts worse finding out another way. (sorry just had to get that off my shoulders)
Anways I think I have gone on long enough. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, just because I don't have a child doesn't make me any less of a person. I am still the fun loving Alisha I have always been and will continue to be. I know that I will be a mother some day, and its all in the Lord's hands. I know if we continue to do our part that he will be bless with the opportunity to be parents. I know that this is part of my preparation to become a mother, and I will be a better mother because of the struggles that I face every day. I know that I am NOT alone and that the Lord has total control of my life. It's up to us if we have the faith and the patience to get through this trial..Goodnight before I start crying...